In FTX’s Super Bowl spot, Larry David, known for his curmudgeonly skepticism, plays a man who dismisses some of the most profound inventions throughout history. The wheel, the fork, the trajectory codes to get humans to space, and of course crypto, Larry dismisses them all.

After a misguided waltz through history, we end with a warming “Don’t Be Like Larry” and encourage everyone get in on the next big thing, crypto with FTX.

Crypto is teetering on the edge of mass adoption. Despite having the fastest adoption curve of any new technology ever (yes ever), crypto is still something that only 16% of Americans had dabbled in, in 2021.

The problem was - for most Americans - crypto was perceived to be for the few. It sat at the intersection of too good to be real and too real to ignore. As a result, most people were sitting on the sidelines waiting for the time to be right.

Reinforcing mass hesitation was the cultural conversation and competitor marketing at the time, which only served to deepen the cultural perceptions of crypto - mysterious, complex, intimidating and out of reach - that had most people on the sidelines in the first place.

EXT. MESOPOTAMIA (THE WHEEL)

A man presents the very first wheel.

Man: I call it.... the wheel.

Larry: Hmm, I don’t think so. What does it do?

Man: It rolls.

Larry: Yeah, so does a bagel. Ok, a bagel you can eat.

Man starts to roll wheel away

Larry: One of the worst ideas I have ever heard.

INT. MONASTERY CLOISTER (THE FORK)

Larry now dressed as a friar sits at a table with other monks eating bowls of noodles or stew. A monk holds up a fork.

Monk: Brother David, behold... the fork!

Larry: I got ten forks right here, baby.

Larry wiggles his fingers

Larry and Monks around him start laughing

Larry: Huh, am I right? Huh?

Monks [all]: Yes!

INT. CASTLE, GREAT HALL (TOILET)

We move past nobles to find Larry staring at the first toilet.

Noble: My Lord

Larry: What is it?

Noble: A toilet, My Lord.

Larry: A toilet? You expect this court to do its business inside? We’re not animals. We go outside like humans.

INT. COFFEE

Larry is now sitting in desert with camel in background, while a woman is pouring him a cup of coffee.

Woman: It’s coffee. It’s new.

Larry takes sip of coffee and then spits it out and coughs.

Larry: Ahh it’s awful.

Woman: You don’t like it?

Larry: I’m all jittery and I feel like I got a big job coming on.

INT. CONTINENTAL CONGRESS (AMERICA)

Gathering of Continental Congress in the hall in Philadelphia.

Founding Father 1: Hancock, you sign first.

Larry jumps up and bangs his cane on the table.

Larry: No king? Gentlemen have you taken leave of your senses.

Founding Father 2: The people shall have the right to vote.

Larry: Even the stupid ones?

Founding Fathers [all]: Yes!

Larry: Stupid people vote?

Founding Fathers [all]: Yes!

Larry: Arghh

Larry lunges for the Declaration of Independence and has to be restrained.

INT. EDISON’S LAB (THE LIGHT BULB)

Light bulb glows to life, warming Edison’s euphoric face. Larry shakes his head.

Larry: Edison, can I be honest with you? It stinks. Does your wife know what’s going on here?

Edison: She knows I go to work.

Larry: You’re wasting your time and it’s sad.

INT. KITCHEN (DISHWASHER)

Larry is looking at dishwasher with a housewife

Larry: You might as well put the dishes in the shower.

Lady: What?

INT. NASA CONTROL ROOM (SPACE FLIGHT)

Katherine Johnson is computing launch trajectories for a moon landing. Larry plops down on the next desk with a sandwich and a coffee.

Larry: Hey Katherine, what’s cooking?

Katherine: We’re putting a man on the moon.

Larry: Are you out of your mind? I can’t even get tuna without celery. Nobody’s going to the moon, ever!

Katherine: Why not?

Larry: It’s too far! It’s far. It’s really far. It’s far.

INT. BOARDROOM (PORTABLE AUDIO PLAYER)

A room of execs in nearly identical dark suits are shown a portable audio player. Sitting at the table is Larry.

Exec: [Speaking in Japanese]

SUPER SUBTITLES: The future is…portable music!

Larry: [Speaking in Japanese]

SUPER SUBTITLES: What a stupid idea! Stupid idea!

Larry looks at people in the room and points to three execs

Larry: [Speaking in Japanese]

SUPER SUBTITLES: You know it! You know it! You know it!

Exec: [Speaking in Japanese]

SUPER SUBTITLES: Get out!

Larry: [Speaking in Japanese]

SUPER SUBTITLES: You’re all too scared to say it!

Larry is escorted out.

Larry: [Yelling Japanese]

SUPER SUBTITLES: You’ll always be looking for batteries! BATTERIES!

INT. OFFICE

Larry sitting at his desk. Colleague sitting across from Larry in room showing him a phone with the FTX app.

Colleague: Like I was saying, it’s FTX, it’s a safe and easy way to get into crypto.

Larry: Ehh, I don’t think so and I am never wrong about this stuff. Never.

SUPER: DON’T BE LIKE LARRY

SUPER: DON’T MISS OUT ON CRYPTO

DON’T MISS OUT OF NFTS

DON’T MISS OUT ON THE NEXT BIG THING

Larry knocks on window. Founding Father peaks through the curtain

Larry: Franklin! Hey I left my cane in there.

Founding Father shakes head

Larry: What? What do you mean? Hey! That’s an expensive cane.