The United Nations Development Programme has found that even in places where it seems like there is gender equality, they are often actually experiencing tolerance – not inclusion. Allies might seem okay with LGBTQIA+ individuals, but actually use words and actions are hurtful. “The most common experience of discrimination was being told to watch your appearance or the way you speak or act.”

We wanted to condition allies’ minds towards unconditional acceptance at heart. With a solution that would let us continuously be an advocate of the LGBTQIA+ community. In a way that was very rooted and personal, but hopefully adaptable across different Asia Pacific markets.

It’s hard for LGBTQIA+ people in Asia Pacific to truly feel loved and accepted.

The Asia-Pacific Social Science Review has found a range of “acceptance” of homosexuality in the region. But even in the Philippines, one of the region’s most seemingly LGBTQIA+-friendly countries, The United Nations Development Programme notes that “Cultural and social attitudes towards LGBT people are complex, with signs of acceptance, particularly among the young, but questions of whether that acceptance is based on LGBT Filipinos conforming to stereotypes.”

The United Nations Development Programme’s conclusion is that in places where it seems like LGBTQIA+ individuals are fine, they are often actually experiencing tolerance – not inclusion.

Any actions to help allies learn to express their love better need to be done carefully, because of the strong sense of pride and shame in Asia Pacific. You would never correct an elder, a “better,” or even a peer.

To listen to where both hurt LGBTQIA+ people and well-meaning allies are coming from, and encourage respectful but informative dialogue, we launched The Unlimited Love Language – an unbranded, social platform that’s anonymously run by any and all LGBTQIA+ people who want to help.

Here, 1) LGBTQIA+ people individually explain how well-meaning but not completely loving words make them feel, and suggest what can be said instead; and 2) allies can get insight into why they need to be better and how to be better, by anonymously browsing and asking and learning without being shamed.

Every single bit of text on the website is by a helpful LGBTQIA+ person, or a wanting-to-be-better ally. So we are continuously learning about what matters to both of these groups. And we’re learning how to have the kindest, more helpful interactions between them.

We combed through different studies on LGBTQIA+ issues in Asia Pacific.

The United Nations Development Programme found that even in places where LGBTQIA+ individuals seem fine, they are often actually experiencing tolerance – not inclusion. “The most common experience of discrimination was being told to watch your appearance or the way you speak or act.”

Through a Philippine consumer study, and discussions between LGBTQIA+ people and allies, we came to the conclusion that fumbling allies don’t mean any harm. They just don’t know better.

And if they do want to know better, they can’t turn to search engines or social media sites – the results and responses they get, if not lacking, are blaming.

To take allies from tolerance to acceptance, we needed to show what limited love looks like in a personal and non-accusatory way. And offer better samples of unlimited love, in a helpful and informative way.

The Unlimited Love Language went live on June 1, 2021. (Social posts and films promoting it started before then.) And while Pride Month ended on June 30, 2021, the website is still up and open to anyone who wants to either learn or teach The Unlimited Love Language.

The Unlimited Love Language launched in Jakarta, Mumbai, and the Manila – Asia Pacific cities with different levels of tolerance. Because in places that are dangerous for LGBTQIA+ people, allies need to get as much insight and give as much love as they can. And in places that are more progressive, allies still need to understand and love as best as they can.

Local LGBTQIA+ influencers shared their perspectives, and led more people to engage with the website (128,000+ organic impressions). The educational effort reached both family-oriented groups and work groups – the main sources of the limited love that people hear every day. And Google Philippines even featured the effort in their newsletter that’s sent to all internal Google employees, and outside partners.

For a culture that would rather not talk about these things, the anonymity of The Unlimited Love Language helped foster conversations and learning that people would not have been comfortable having normally.

And the Unlimited Love Language has since made an impact far beyond Pacific. The platform has now been engaged with by people from over 250 cities – places that need information and education desperately like Accra, Moscow, and Tuckahoe; and even more progressive places like San Francisco, Hamburg, and The Hague.