In this episode, Kate McKinnon (as Renowned Anthropologist, Genevieve St. Jermaine, Ph.D.) braves poison darts while loading a 2015 Ford Focus ST full of artifacts.

Archaeologists tend to acquire a lot of stuff. Does the roomy cargo space of the 2015 Ford Focus ST have enough for cool archaeologists?

INT. OFFICE

Dr. Genevieve St. Jermaine is seated at her desk with a phone to her ear. Title card says Dr. Genevieve St. Jermaine, PhD Anthropologist

DR. GENEVIEVE ST. JERMAINE:

??I’m Dr. Genevieve St. Jermaine, and I’m on a phone call.

PHONE:

Hello? Hello? What? Are you there?

DR. GENEVIEVE ST. JERMAINE:

They say the new 2015 Ford Focus believes in more. More to see. More to feel. But more for whom? For...cool archeologists?

INT. FORD DEALERSHIP

CUT TO:

Suddenly Kate stalks across frame in an adventurer outfit: body suit, Bluetooth headset, sunglasses, gloves, etc. She runs out frame, than run back across carrying some kind of ancient artifact.

KATE?

I have the idol! They’re after us with dart guns!

DAN

Who has dart guns?

DR. GENEVIEVE ST. JERMAINE:

The ancient order of temple goons! Help me load my artifacts Dan!

Dan waits for a beat then bolts after her.

CUT TO:

A montage of Kate and Dan loading large ancient artifacts into the trunk of the Focus.

-They load an ark

DR. GENEVIEVE ST. JERMAINE:

The ark of the covenant. DON’T open it.

-They load two Chinese urns.

DR. GENEVIEVE ST. JERMAINE:

Two priceless urns—

She drops and breaks one.

DR. GENEVIEVE ST. JERMAINE:

--one priceless urn.

-They load a Greek box

DR. GENEVIEVE ST. JERMAINE:

We’ve gotta move, the Russian henchmen are after us!

DAN:?

Well, don’t worry, the turbocharged 2 Liter EcoBoost engine cranks out 252 horse power and 270-pound feet of torque. 0 to 60 in 6.5 seconds.

DR. GENEVIEVE ST. JERMAINE:

Good, cause we’ve got company!

She does a power roll away from the vehicle.

Back at the rear of the vehicle, they continue to load artifacts.

DR. GENEVIEVE ST. JERMAINE:

Pandora’s Box.

They load a different Greek box.

KATE

Pandora’s hamper.

CUT TO:

INT. CAR? Head on two shot of Kate and Dan inside the car. They mime driving the car in a frantic manner.

DAN:

This is the Focus ST.

DR. ST. JERMAINE:

Are you nervous Dan?

DAN:

We’re not really driving. If we were, we could use SYNC, with voice-activated navigation.

DR. ST. JERMAINE:

No time to talk about features, Dan, because we’re going over a waterfall!!!!

The car remains still in the showroom.

CUT TO: Still loading more artifacts into the rear of the Focus ST.

DAN:

Is this…just Chinese takeout?

DR. ST. JERMAINE:

It’s very old.

CUT TO:

A huge boulder rolls across frame like in Indiana Jones toward Dan.

DR. ST. JERMAINE:

Noooooooooooo!!!!!!

Dan screams. The boulder hits him and bounces back like a very soft ball.

DR. ST. JERMAINE:

Do you like it, I made it out of plaster.

CUT TO:

INT. DEALERSHIP.

Kate is back in her street clothes. Dan is in the background investigating the ark.

KATE (CONT’D)?

The numbers don’t lie. The Ford Focus does offer more for cool archeologists.

She sees Dan checking out the ark.

KATE

Dan No! No! I’m kidding, it’s a prop.